Do They Even Have A True Definition of Irony?

Seriously. I've been wondering about this. Because one person will say something's ironic, the other will be all, "OH NO IT AIN'T!" And next thing you know you and your friend are having a giant cake fight over whether or not your sarcastic remark about Teri Hatcher on Desperate Housewives was ironic or just lame sarcasm. However, cake fights are not a bad thing. Hello, frosting.

I read... exactly... ONE book this week! I'm so special. Either that or I'm a super slow reader right now due to the normal chaos going on in my brain: HOLY CRAP I HAVE A HISTORY TEST NEXT WEEK! AND I REALLY WANT BANANA BREAD! BUT I'M IN SWIM SEASON... AND THEY'RE MAKING ME DO THE 100 FLY! HOLY FISHNUGGETS I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE! I can't possibly read with this trauma.

So onto what I did read.

Diary of a Teenage Girl: Becoming Me by Melody Carlson. How to say this... this book WAS NOT that good.

Poor book, I'm so sorry you kinda sucked. It's just this author was writing a diary from the point of view of (you guessed it) a teenage girl and it was very unrealistic. It details Caitlin, a girl who wants desperately to be popular and ditch her unique-quirky friend Beanie for the plastic-perfect chick, Jenny. Um, didn't Caitlin ever see any Disney movies? Popularity never works out. Unless you were born that way.

Fortunately Caitlin gets her life straightened out and joins an awesome church. Then the whole book turns to this religious theme. And while I don't mind books becoming highly religious, I'd prefer they deal with the issue REALISTICALLY, rather than "La di da, I go to church now, LIFE IS BOMB!" Because that's kind of how Caitlin came off to me as. Maybe it's just me.

Or, since people usually come off way different than who they actually are in real life when they write diaries or journals, maybe this book is more realistic than we'll ever know.

Either way, not that enjoyable. But others may like it more. Maybe I'm just a reading Grinch this week.

Remind me never to type in yellow font again. With the white background, every time I check to make sure I haven't made any typos I feel like my eyes decided to swim in acid and then dance spastically around a strobe light. Man, that's giving me a funny mental image. It could be because of all the chlorine that my eyes hurt this bad, too.

You know what else is random?! I made it all the way through Valentine's Day without eating ONE candy or chocolate. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Everyone knows Valentine's Day is candy-binge day of the year, second only to Halloween. Of course, Thanksgiving still takes the cake in all things foody.

They signed me up to swim the 100 butterfly event in swim... Have you ever tried that? It. Is. EXHAUSTING. I don't actually mind it that much, it's just after 1/4 of the way through, on the first turn, it's like SWEET LEGOS WHY ISN'T THIS OVER ALREADY?!

Have you ever seen 100 fly? Let's view high school nationals, shall we?



It's SCARY! I look nothing like that, seeing as I'm a giant pansy, but still. Give the fliers credit. Most people can be too lazy to reach up for the TV remote and we're dragging our arms over our heads for 100 yards. Okay, I'm still too lazy to get the remote when I'm on the couch.

Today is a Sunday and I have to clean the bathroom. This should be against child labor laws. Anyone want to start a petition?